Happy Birthday To Me!

So yeah, today is my birthday. I'm 35 years old. Wow. I hardly know what to say about that. You always think you are getting "old" until more years go by and you look back and think how young you were then. That happens whether you're 20, 30, and so on, I imagine.

Trust me, any young-uns reading this, I know you think I'm old! But get this, the 30's are just youth with all the good stuff thrown in that you probably wish you had right now (or, at least I used to!) Stuff that tends to just come with the experience of living your life. You know, things like getting respect, having more patience, humor, smarts, etc.

Sure, there are trade-offs, but it's that way with everything. A few gray hairs shining in the bathroom mirror? That's why science invented all those pretty boxes of haircolor at the store, you know! Take it from someone living it, don't dread being "30-something".

Ha, I remember being in shock when I turned 25. I mean, that seemed impossible at the time that I had reached such an old, decrepit age. Twenty-five? That was really getting up there! Serious aging going on, you know?

Ah, but the 30's. I feel like I'm just starting to live in some ways. I will say that my 30's have been the best of my adult years so far. The 20's had some shining moments, but the 30's just radiate.

So going on about today, I had a phlebotomy job interview and I get to go on to the next step of the process. That's great! In typical fashion, I'm excited, thrilled, and scared at the same time. I still need time to absorb it all.

When my son got home from school, he told me "Happy Birthday, Mom!" and presented me with a gift bag. I got two beautiful Autumn coffee mugs. Perfect.

I spent a low-key evening with my husband, watching a movie, having warm drinks and snuggling on the couch. Right now while sipping my tea, I can hear the faint drumming of the high school marching band at the football game. Every so often, the announcer comes through on the loudspeaker, and I hear the far away roar of the crowd. I think our team is getting thrashed. So, nothing's perfect, right?

I'm happy, healthy, and I have my whole life ahead of me. That's the best birthday present ever, don't you agree?

We Love You & Miss You Too, Baby.

One thing I didn't have when waiting to get Jean Paul from the O, was email access to him. Now, thanks to Bryn Boorman (pictured with James on the right), I can send and get the occasional email from James.

I'm happy to hear that he's learning English. He seems very intelligent, just like Jean Paul. I love that he loves to draw; that he has a great imagination. He also says that he doesn't like Math. It sounds like we have some things in common already! (I'll have to ask Jean Paul to tutor us both.) It's also good to know that James is respectful of others; that's something that we have tried to teach Jean Paul as well. And, I bet certain people are going to be happy that he's a soccer player.

I am so ready to have him here. There are so many "firsts" for us to experience with him. I can't wait to see what all I can interest him in, what his sense of humor is like, how he and Jean Paul will get along (especially sharing a room!), what it will be like to have our family complete, and the kind of person he is and will become.

Below is the email from Bryn re: James, and then below that are a couple of treasured emails from my boy himself.

Hi Paula -

What can I tell you about him? I could talk forever about James, but
first let me just say you are one of the luckiest mamas ever to be
getting him.

He did get your e-mail and he asked me yesterday if he could come over
and write, but we've had a lot going on. I'll try to pull him over
here soon to reply. I typed the letter for him and while his English
isn't that good, it is very good for his age. He's in my 3rd group of
English (I have 4) and he's the youngest kid in that group and often
knows the answers before the older kids know them.

He's a very quiet child, but his quietness is what I love about him.
In spite of that attribute, he loves to be goofy and I love to just
sit across the room at him and make faces at each other. He's always
the first to come when I call them over for English class and he
always participates willingly in everything and does the assignments
without complaing (which is quite rare!). He has quite the imagination
and loves to draw. He and Monsanto were best friends and so I was
worried about him when Monsanto left, but he and Ernso and Adler (the
3 youngest boys in the boys' house) have all melded together. The
older boys really like James, too, so they usually have him with them.

He's very respectful too, which is rare in this culture. Haitian
culture as a whole doesn't have a lot of respect for people, so it's
amazing to watch him show all the adults and the other boys respect.

Ok - I draw my James novel to a close. I'll try to call him over today
to write.

Dear mom –

How are you? I am good. School started on Monday. I am in the 3rd
grade. Greet everyone for me. I pray for you every day. I
love you and I miss you.

Love, James


Dear mom and dad -

How are you? How is Jean Paul? Thank you for your letter. I am good. My
favorite class is Social Science. I don't like math! I like school so far.

Bryn translates my letters for me, but she says I am very smart in English.

My favorite food is rice. My favorites sport is soccer. I love the team
Manchester United. I like to watch tv with the other boys. I like to draw.
Ashley is my best friend.

I can't wait to receive the package you will send. Thank you for sending it.
I miss Jean Paul very much.

I love you and I miss you.

Love, James

Here We Go Again

You think you see the light at the end of the adoption paper chase tunnel, when WHAM! It's just another train that hits you.

I just opened a fat, yellow envelope from our adoption agency in Columbus that did our homestudy for Jean Paul and the update for James. Since our last homestudy update was October 2005, it's expired, and now we have to start all over with a new homestudy.

It's discouraging to flip through all these forms we have to fill out, tests we'll have to have done. These aren't all just single sheets of paper; there are multiple papers stapled together in this stack.

And then there are the fees. The homestudy fee is big enough, but most of these papers will have their own fees attached.

Vent, vent, vent. Argh... (insert expletive here.)

We've been waiting a long time to get James. I'm sure some people wonder if we're really going to get him at all. The answer is, "Yes." But when will we get him? Sometime in 2009. I can at least be positive on that.

There are many reasons why adoptions are now taking so long in Haiti. Our agency in Haiti, New Life Link, is working hard and doing all they can to get adoptions processed. Things have changed in Haiti in the last three years, however, things beyond their control.

Steps that used to take days or weeks are now taking months. For example, when we were adopting Jean Paul, we had him within seven months of sending our dossier (paperwork) down. It's going on three years since we sent our dossier for James. Our seven year old child is now a nine year old. His tenth birthday is February 5.

This is just one of the challenges you have to face when you adopt. I am temporarily discouraged, but it won't last. Now, I better dig out a pencil and get started...

It's All About The Washingtons

I'm not gonna list all the expenses that have come up for us lately, all at once like they are prone to do. At the worst possible time, things seem to compound.

Everyone has experienced that at some time, maybe noticing it more in this economy. But I thought this Weird Al parody of TI's "Whatever You Like" describes things well! :)



Hey girl,
You know our economy's in the toilet
But I’m still going to treat you right

I said you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah

Tater tots, Cold Duck on ice
And we can clip coupons all night
And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah

Take you out for dinner, anywhere that you please
Like Burger King or Mickey Ds
And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can even have the large fry (large fry) yeah, yeah

Baby, you should know I am really quite a sweet guy
When I buy you bathroom tissue I always get the two-ply
Want it, you can get it, my dear
I got my Costco membership card right here, yeah

You like Top Ramen, need Top Ramen
Got a cupboard full of 'em, I’ll keep 'em coming
You want it, I got it, go get it, just heat it
Dump the flavor packet on it and eat it

Pork and beans and Minute Rice
And we can play Cribbage all night
And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah

I can take you to the laundromat downtown
And watch all the clothes go round and round
And baby we can go wherever you like (if you like)
I said we can go wherever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah

Hottest shorty I know, if you had some lipo
You could be second-runner-up Miss Ohio
Seven dollar bills rolled
Up inside my plastic billfold
Buy you a bagel even if it isn’t day old
And you never ever gotta wear your sister’s old clothes
As long as I’m still assistant manager at Kinko’s
Cut your hair with scissors and a soup bowl
You ain’t got to pay me, that’s the way that I roll

My chick can have want she want
At Wal-mart she can pick out anything she want
I know girl you ain’t never had a man like that
Who doesn’t make you buy generic brand like that, Yeah

You like my Hyundai, see my Hyundai
I can take you to see your cousin Phil next Sunday
But that’s kind of far and I’m not made of cash
Do you think you could chip in for gas?
Mac and Cheese would be all right
But let’s send out for pizza tonight
And you can order any toppings you like (if you like)
I said you can even have the last slice (the last slice) yeah, yeah

Ran myself a cable from my neighbor next do'
Now I can get free HBO
And baby you can watch whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can watch whatever you like (if you like) yeah

And you can always ride the city bus
Got a stack of tokens just for us
Yo, my wallet’s fat and full of ones
It’s all about the Washingtons, that’s right

You want White Castle, need White Castle
Long as you got me it won’t be no hassle
You want it, we’ll get it, just don’t be a hater
If I grab a bunch of napkins for later

Thrift store jeans on sale half-price
The underwear at Goodwill is nice
And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like) yeah, yeah

Baby, I can give you anything you please
Even share my government cheese
And baby you can have as much as you like (if you like)
I said you can have as much as you like (if you like) yeah, yeah

Jean Paul and I think he should have said, "Take you out shopping wherever you please, just as long as its at the Dollar Tree..."

And on that note, if anyone knows of a job in this area, I am looking. My phlebotomy classes won't be finished until mid-December. So, I'm needing something yesterday! :)

First Blood

I did my first blood draw from a real, live person on Tuesday night. For weeks now, we have been practicing on the rubber arm. I was nervous but excited about having a go at real flesh and blood.

I was so nervous before sticking Francie! It was hard to wait for our turn. It just made me more nervous, the waiting.

She had full confidence in me, a lot more than I had in myself. She had singled me out earlier in the evening to be the one to draw her blood. Francie thinks I'm a "brainiac" who knows my stuff. I didn't feel quite the same way about myself, but it felt good that she wanted me to be the one to stick a sharp object under her skin and remove her blood! I knew all the steps, that wasn't the problem. My nervousness was from being afraid I would hurt her. It was also about the second when you actually stick the needle through the skin. This is an invasive, intimate procedure. I just wanted it to go well. She kept encouraging me, saying she knew I wouldn't hurt her and nothing bad would happen.

As I was preparing everything my hands were shaking. Not good! I applied the tourniquet, found a vein (yeah!), used the antiseptic, screwed the needle onto the holder, placed the tube in the holder, loosely. Diane, our instructor, was right there to help us along, so I knew I wouldn't forget any steps. I anchored the vein. When the moment came to do the stick, I had a "just do it" attitude. I couldn't wait forever. That baby had to go in. I knew faster would cause less pain. There was no use in waiting. I stuck it right in. When I popped the tube into the multisample needle, I didn't see any blood. Disappointment. But Diane and Francie saw it. Yes, I had blood after all! The rest of the procedure was a blur.

It was such a huge relief to have not hurt Francie, and to have drawn blood. We weren't required to get blood, Diane just wanted to see if our method was correct. But there is something satisfying about seeing that dark blood coming into the tube. The only thing I was told to do differently, was not to "jab" the needle in. I had tried to get that over with so quickly, that my movement wasn't smooth and quick as it should be. Also, I need to hold the gauze on the site for 3 - 5 minutes and remember to give her a bandaid. This was mainly forgotten in my excitement to have actually successfully stuck someone.

Nobody has been perfect on their first times, so I'm not concerned. I know perfection will come. But to have my first stick over with! Yeah! Something to get out of the way, so I won't be so nervous (hopefully) tonight when I stick someone else. Francie had been a perfect first patient. She encouraged me all along. Afterward, she kept complementing me and saying it didn't hurt. I felt so good about that.

Later, when it came time for her to stick me, I was nervous that I would have syncope (fainting) or feel nauseous. That happens to me 95% of the time when I get blood drawn. It's worse if I haven't eaten, and I hadn't eaten for hours. I also made the mistake of watching. Normally, I don't watch, but I felt since I was a student and had drawn blood earlier, then I should be able to watch and learn. Francie did a great job, but I was so anxious, and sure enough, I started feeling sick.

It's this feeling that comes over me, a bad sensation from the solar plexus to the lower abdomen. My perception of time slowed down, as though the stick was taking forever. All I could do was turn my head away and look at my classmates who were standing there looking at me with worried, incredulous looks.

Poor Francie! She thought she'd done something wrong. I kept reassuring her that it was not her fault at all, this just happens to me. I told her she did great.

I tried to be tough, but I felt I was gonna be sick. At first, I was going to just try to ignore it and make it to my seat, but Diane said I looked pale and I could tell she was concerned. I went over to the trash can for a moment to see if I was going to throw up. At Diane's encouragement, I laid down across a few of our chairs and someone brought me my Dr. Pepper. Natasha stayed close by in case I needed anything.

I was embarrassed. Of course, I would be the one to have such an episode! I felt ridiculous at my reaction to the simple blood draw. Why had my nerves and my body failed me with everyone watching? I can draw blood OK but can't give it? But, within minutes I was fine, and sat up to start on my homework with the rest of my table.

Tonight, I won't let myself get woozy when my partner is working on me. I will eat well before class and also have a snack on each break. I will look away when my blood is being drawn. It will go fine.

I am looking forward to sticking someone tonight and doing a better job than the first time. I'm really enjoying this phlebotomy class. There are some great people in it, the instructor is great, and I love learning.

Sometimes I can't believe I'm in this class, when I've always hated having my blood drawn and had similar experiences to Tuesday night. I guess I know I can do ANYTHING if I put my mind to it, and this is no different. I will be the best phlebotomist I can be. If anything, it only helps to know that a patient may be feeling anxiety over the draw, and that I can be compassionate and do all I can to help them.

Welcome to Loquacious

This blog is a way for me to record some diurnal things in my life. A slice of my life here and there. It may not be interesting to anyone but myself and those who are closest to me, but who knows.

I used to keep journals when I was a teen. In my adult life, I've been lucky to get the main events of the day jotted down in my planner, things like appointments and our son's ballgames. It's too bad that I didn't write very much about the things I was doing and feeling a year ago. That was a very unusual time. Maybe I will work some of that into my blog another time.

Here's a list of some of the main things I'll be blogging about:

*The phlebotomy course I'm taking.
*What it's like to work at the job I hope to get ASAP.
*The process of writing a novel.
*How our adoption is going.

There's no competition or anything fancy about this blog, it's just me being me, the way I do it.

A little about this blogger:

I'm 34 years old; happily married for 14 years. We have a teenage son, whom we adopted in March 2005. We are in the adoption process again to get his younger brother, who is nine.

I am nearly always happy, content, and excited about life. My life is my own, the way I want to live it. Of course, what works for one isn't necessarily going to for the other. I consider myself to be a tolerant and curious type. I'm sure you'll find things here about me that surprise you, maybe disgust you or even delight you. Well, we'll get right down to it! But for now, it's way past my bedtime.

Bon Nuit.